Thursday, 21 January 2016

Break-Up On Social Media

This YouTube film resonated with me: I Miss You

Maybe it was due to its artistic quality (the montage, short clips, voice over narration), or simply just the content of the short film itself (the documentation of a young relationship); however, as I face a break up, the particular ending of this film realistically captures the ways in which my actions and relationship is currently mediated with this ‘other person’ on social media.

Having to distance myself from someone, I realized all of the networks I also had to account for, to detach myself from that person. Whether it be Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram, there are several different types of connections and forms of communication we have established, which makes it even harder to create a sense of social distance from a real life person.

As we are all connected through these webs across social media, I look at how our messages to one another are mediated using these platforms. In comparison to a face to face conversation, social media enables us to edit and even delete a message before sending it. These platforms create both an idealistic perspective of ourselves, and can hinder real life or automatic/ emotional responses by filtering what we post or carefully crafting messages that we send.


This relates back to many of our readings this past week about “audience labour theory…which informs real social agents” (Fisher, 2015, p.1119), in discussing how social media platforms capitalize on the information we post. I still argue that we should not demand privacy from these social media platforms nor compensation for our posts, because we chose to use these platforms to make connections with other people. Just like a relationship, we can chose to remove ourselves from these platforms to not share or solicit information.


On social media, we can chose to not participate, by removing ourselves from Facebook or Twitter, and not have “a public presence” (Arvidsson, 2012, p.144); therefore, I believe that having “Facebook” monitor the “items [we] choose to ‘like, the people [we] choose as ‘friends’, the thoughts [we] post” (Andrejevic, 2015, p.11), store this information in big data, and even sell it to other companies, it is not a form of exploitation nor a violation of privacy. You chose the relationships you keep and who you share your personal information with.

2 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed this post Amara! Its very interesting to think about the ways in which the relationships we build in "reality" or face-to-face are simultaneously fostered through the various social media platforms we use. When a relationship ends, whether that be with a friend or a significant other, we may end face-to-face contact, but the various social media platforms we utilize make it difficult to maintain social distance from that person. Personally, I had an interesting experience with this today. Exactly one year ago today my roommate's boyfriend broke up with her. I knew that it was exactly one year ago today because Facebook reminded me of this... yes.. that's right.. Facebook reminded me of both her past relationship in addition to the day in which that relationship ended. Via the "Memories" feature on the platform, a wallpost that my roommate had made a year ago to the day on my wall popped up on my newsfeed this morning. Although the relationship in "reality" may have ceased, the information and data in relation to that relationship continues to exist online; that relationship continues to exist online. Although I do understand your argument that we chose to use these platforms and thus we shouldn't be shocked by their invasion of our privacy, I found this quite troubling when actually experienced firsthand, or by someone close to me. Due to the collection of data by social media companies for the purpose of profit, your past (a past that you may want to forget) is forever embedded within your digital footprint. Although, at the time we may be comfortable with the information we are posting, who says we will feel the same way in the future? This is something I have never really considered, as it is impossible to know. Do we really have a choice regarding the relationships you keep and who you share your personal information with? We may initially have the choice to make the post or comment, but we do not get the choice to take that post or comment back. My roommate didn't have the choice as to whether or not that would appear on my newfeed this morning, and I'm sure if she did it would not have appeared.

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  2. I think this post provides an interesting perspective on relationships on social media. Social media do make break-ups more difficult because not only does one have to separate themselves physically from a person, but they also have to find a way to digitally-disconnect from a person; something that has proven to be extremely difficult in my past. There also exists a certain stigma or negative outlook on deleting or blocking an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend off of social media after a break up as it often connotes immaturity. This notion speaks to the new social imaginaries surrounding relationships and social media.
    I do, however, feel inclined to contest your argument that choosing to remove one’s self from a relationship serves as an analogy for choosing to remove one’s self from platforms. These two social interactions - emotional, one-on-one relationships and social media networking - afford very different things to an individual. They, therefore, cannot be viewed as having the same level impact on an individual’s life. Ending an emotional, one-on-one relationship with a person only separates the individual with that specific person and perhaps a number of other mutual friends you have with that person. Choosing to remove one’s self from a platform will diminish a person's overall network value and could potentially impact future benefits that could be reaped from that platform (such as getting a job, working collectively on a school project, ect.). Making the “choice” of leaving an individual relationship should not be taken as synonymous in significance with the choice to leave a platform, as the implications of the latter are - in most cases - much more significant than implications of the former.

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